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The Facebook Unfriending

30 Jan

Facebook is the devil… especially in the break-up process. Every post feels like a personal dig and each photo or video is a reminder that your ex is continuing life without you — and true or not, it always feels like they’ve already forgotten about you.

I took myself out of our abruptly-ended relationship and returned to my previous unlisted status (I’m not a fan of the FB relationship listing; I feel no need to advertise it to the world!). But a week later I found he was still hanging out ‘in a relationship.’ Part of me wondered if he chose to remain in this category permanently, making it easier to just add a name when the next lady came along.

I guess not. Today he became single — according to the world of FB. When I saw it on my feed I thought “about time.”

And then the comments began.

“What…,”

“It’s about time. I didn’t want to say it, but it is,”

and [friend] likes your status were the first to appear.

The feeling it left in my stomach is the reason I don’t publicly comment on other people’s relationship changes. Everything is open to interpretation. Did his friend — who FB friended me when SS and I started dating and has commented on my statuses as recently as last week, ugh! — ‘like’ the status change because he disliked me? Or was he glad SS finally changed it after a week? Or does he know SS has a new interest and wants to see him move on? Or none of the above?

Was the person who wrote ‘about time’ know something about our relationship that SS never enlightened me about? Or is he just excited because he is friends with his ex? Or does he think SS spends too much time in relationships and not enough with himself? Or is there a completely other, irrelevant reason for his enthusiasm?

I’ll never know what was meant and it’s hard not to assume the worst. Therefore, I don’t want to see it.

I clicked unfriend and watched our connection instantaneously disappear. It felt as quick as the break-up.

The phrase ‘out of sight, out of mind’ may not accurately describe the break-up process, but ‘off the feed’ is a step in the right direction.

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