The Big Move [On]

28 Jan

by sweethaa (flickr)

One of the most difficult obstacles in the moving on process is the point in which one of you finds someone new. Rarely do both people get there at the same time — and that first replacement is always the hardest to get your head around.

Currently, I feel the anguish of this situation hanging over me like a dark rain cloud. The past two January’s SS ended relationships replacing each with a new Mrs in a matter of weeks. If history repeats itself, SS will be spoiling a new lady soon and remaining connected with him to exchange our stuff — he has a LOT of stuff at my house — knowing someone new is sleeping on my side of the bed burns inside.

A lot of people move on instantaneously — rebounds, flings, time-occupying dates. Most of the time they are/were not ready for the big move on (unless you are Peter Klaven from the movie “I Love You, Man” and meet The One the day after leaving Not The One). But let’s be honest, it is much easier to seek out someone to fill the void instead of working to fill it independently.

Even my emotional self has left relationships feeling ready to take on something new, usually because I am craving something the previous relationship lacked. But each time I learned there was always something to get over, come to terms with or understand. I am now a strong believer that when you don’t come to terms with a break-up as it occurs it will join you in the next relationship, and maybe the one after that.

But even people who worked hard to stayed emotionally distant throughout a relationship still, I think, owe it some time alone. That person was a part of your day-to-day life — they were someone you shared your excitement and laughs with, someone you turned to for comfort and support. You relied on them, and they relied on you. Anyone important enough to hold a position like that in your life deserves some reflection and grief, don’t they?

Better yet if you loved and respected another person enough to give them so much of your time, don’t you owe yourself some time?

I know I deserve it!


One Response to “The Big Move [On]”


  1. The Facebook Unfriending « Morning Eggs - 30 January 2011

    […] I took myself out of our abruptly-ended relationship and returned to my previous unlisted status (I’m not a fan of the FB relationship listing; I feel no need to advertise it to the world!). But a week later I found he was still hanging out ‘in a relationship.’ Part of me wondered if he chose to remain in this category permanently, making it easier to just add a name when the next lady came along. […]

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